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Europe

These are a mix of stories from Norway, Croatia, and Slovenia from some past trips.

Make Serbia Great Again

Our first stop is the city of Dubrovnik in Croatia, which has become well known being the primary filming location for Game of Thrones seasons 2 – 8.  I watched the series, and am kind of a fan, but the city has really capitalized on this popularity. As you walk through the city you see these stores with fake iron thrones where you can sit and take pictures.

The city is quite unique as it is literally closed off by massive city walls (think Kings Landing) and to walk through the city requires climbing these huge flights of stairs.  We were quite jet lagged the second day so we explored the city on our own.  It was pretty empty, and we saw a couple elderly locals climb up the stairs.  They were slow, but managed to do it which was impressive.

In the late morning, the city was a zoo.  I’m talking like Disneyland-level crowds of people everywhere.  It reminded me a lot of the Granville Island Public market in Vancouver during tourist season. On a normal day I could get groceries quickly, but on some random summer days the market would be packed shoulder to shoulder because of a cruise ship docked in the Waterfront port.

Luckily, we booked a tour guide Ivan to show us around the city.  It was the shoulder season, but the crowds were surprising.  He mentioned that in a peak summer day 8,000 people can enter the city!

He pointed out an insignia with a coat of arms that had “HR” and said that “Hrvatska” was the real name of the country.  I did a double take for a moment and said, “Wait, Croatia isn’t the name of the country?  He mentioned that the lack of vowels made it difficult for foreigners to pronounce so someone came up with “Croatia”.

I distinctly remember that as a kid, there was societal pressure for people with hard to pronounce names to choose an English name.  Growing up, I remember adults telling my cousin Trang to pick an English name and drop her Vietnamese name.  Today we would frown upon this, but back then it was pretty common to try to purge your identity to blend in. 

Trang (pronounced like chrahng):

  • “Tr”: Pronounced like “ch” in “charm,” but with the tongue placed slightly farther back in the mouth. The sound is sharper than in English.
  • “a”: Pronounced like the “a” in “father” – a long and open vowel sound.
  • “ng”: Pronounced like the “ng” in “song” or “ring,” with the sound coming from the back of the throat.

Even I was not immune to this.  My Vietnamese name is Minh, but most of you probably know me as Daniel.  My parents were afraid people wouldn’t be able to pronounce Minh so I went by Daniel.

During my time at the University of California, Irvine, a TA was calling our names to collect back our graded quizzes.  He exclaimed out loud, “Danielle, Danielle, please pick up your quiz.”  My friend nudged me and said it was probably my quiz.  I reluctantly walked up to the front and grabbed the paper, and sure enough, my name was on top –  “Daniel.” 

Oddly enough I’ve had this problem multiple times, at places like Starbucks and even in other classes so I just shortened my name to Dan, to make it fool proof. 

During my university graduation, they called each name before students walked across the stage.  As I was waiting, I heard “David Quach”.  As I walked to grab my diploma, my life flashed before my eyes that I would forever regret the moment if I didn’t walk back and correct the announcer.  I walked all the way back to the stage, told him the corrected name, then walked off the stage.

Tourism boards probably err on the side of caution of easy to pronounce names, but does that do the country a disservice? I mean, if Hrvatska is the real name, why don’t we just call it that?

The walk around the city felt old and historic.  Ivan pointed out a building and says, “That’s an Airbnb now.”  In the past, the old city used to have 5,000 people, but only 500 remain.  Since tourists are willing to pay high prices for short-term rentals, property owners make more money renting to visitors rather than to locals.  This drives up the cost of living making it hard for residents to live in their own city.

Ivan continued by explaining that the lack of affordable housing is forcing younger generations to leave Dubrovnik and Croatia to seek better opportunities.  A really random fact is that many Croatians play water polo locally then leave for scholarships at top universities in the United States.

The word “authentic” is always a really loaded word, but I wonder without the locals, is Dubrovnik a hollow shell catering to tourists?  Taking the Disneyland comparison further, that place isn’t bad, but no locals live there.  What do we lose when cities become museums where we check off landmarks,  but don’t interact with any locals?

We climbed to a higher point of the city, and Ivan pointed out a building with new red roof tiles alongside older ones  He mentions that the new tile was part of the post-war reconstruction.

Before visiting, I hadn’t read much about the history of Croatia and its neighbors. In seventh grade, I only had a vague recollection that Yugoslavia split up and that Tito was the former dictator.

Ivan shared his experience as a kid during the 1991–1995 Yugoslav War, when he was growing up in Dubrovnik. His mom specifically warned him not to walk in certain areas due to the risk of snipers. About 75% of the city was destroyed during an eight-month scorched-earth campaign, where civilian buildings were also targeted.

I asked why he thought the war happened, and his theory was that Tito’s monetary policy fueled hyperinflation, and politicians exploited the resulting instability. He suggested that Serbia’s ambition to create a “Greater Serbia” was a factor in the conflict—hence the expression “Make Serbia Great Again.”

The book Café Europa Revisited: How to Survive Post-Communism had one line that really stuck with me. The author, Slavenka Drakulić, wrote:

“Nationalism is an ideology that needs an enemy; it constitutes itself in confrontation with the Other—whoever that might be at the moment.”

There has been much news lately about the tariff war between the U.S. and Canada. I’ve been struck by the anger on the Canadian side, with some even boycotting U.S.-made goods—despite the tariff being extended by 30 days.

It reminds me of the nationalism statement, and now I wonder with Canada’s emergent nationalist sentiment is only due to viewing the USA as an adversary now.

The Traffic Ticket in Bosnia

From Dubrovnik, we drove to Ston and Mostar.  Driving from Croatia to Bosnia is a bit more complicated as you are leaving the EU, and when you rent a car, you need to tell the rental company this specifically as there is an upcharge for documentation you have to give to the border police.

Just like at the airport, you go through an EU customs exit, then the Bosnian country customs border.  I always get a little anxious going through any country’s borders especially on land, but we had no issues.

In Mostar, we booked a tour from a contact in the Rick Steves guidebook.  The guide met us in the center of the city.  When visiting countries deeply affected by war, I struggle with the balance of how much I should ask tour guides about their experiences during that time.  In one hand, I wonder if that is traumatic for them to constantly retell the stories so during the tour, so we let Alma lead the discussion.

She spent 45 minutes talking about the history of the region starting from the Roman Empire.  I’m not a historical scholar, but long story short, Mostar emerged as a significant center during the Ottoman Empire (1468 – 1908ish) .  The interesting thing is that the Ottomans were generally tolerant of other religions with Catholic and Jewish populations and the legacy carries on to this day for having an inclusive society.

In the 1990s war broke out in the entire region, and the key historical event was the bombing of the Stari Most bridge in 1993.  When inquiring more into why she thought the war happened, her belief was that Serbian nationalism was the primary cause of the war as the aggressor.

She also was critical and disillusioned with the United Nations (UN) and UNESCO, as in her perspective they failed to stop the bloodshed during the war.  I can’t help think about when the Ukraine and Gaza conflicts are over, will the same criticisms be leveled against these global institutions.

The weirdest thing she talked about was the concept of the Tripartite (three-headed) Presidency which has been a core issue post-war.  The Dayton Accords were signed in Ohio in 1995, stopped the bloodshed and established a peace treaty, but put in place a really weird political situation in Bosnia.  

As part of the agreement every four years three members of the presidency are elected: one Bosniak, one Croat, and one Serb. Who you vote for is based on the territory where you live and your ethnicity.

In the four-year year term, the presidency rotates every eight months between the Bosniak, Croat, and Serb.  The guide was deeply critical of the complex political structure.  The accords were trying to make everything equal in their society, but she pointed out the irony that this type of structure has caused paralysis in the government’s decision making.

Similar to Croatia, there has been a brain drain out of the country post-war, due to their segregated education system which has another convoluted set of rules.  A part of me is quite sad that when the system is broken, the people suffer. 

Being pretty ignorant, I asked, “Do people in Croatia and Bosnia speak the same language?” The reality is that Croatian, Bosnian, and Serbian all come from the same Slavic language. As a side note, they can somewhat understand Russian verbally.
 

Alma believed that the decision to call a language “Croatian, “Bosnian, or “Serbian”, is not based on objective linguistic criteria, but rather on the political agendas and a desire to establish dominance.  I guess languages might be a form of nationalism in a sense.

Walking through the old town, it was quite pretty, and only small relics of the war remain.  Around some buildings, you see some large mortar shell holes from the conflict, but Bosnia really has tried to move on and is supported by robust tourism from day trippers in Dubrovnik.

Being in a Rick Steves guide book is a big deal, and we asked how she got mentioned.  The guide initially worked as a tour guide in a local agency, but Rick Steves’ representatives wanted her to be a guide to Rick Steves personally so he could update the Bosnia book. 

When Rick Steves finished his tour, instead of mentioning the tour agency, he mentioned the guide directly, omitting the tour agency, which became a turning point in her career. She refers to that moment as divine intervention, as that mention changed her career path forever.

It is crazy to see these moments where people in the positions of power and influence have the opportunity to change people’s lives through a single decision.  I’m glad that local guide mentions actually make a difference, and it does make me look at the guidebook in a slightly different light.

The next day, we drove out of Bosnia and towards Ston. On the way out, as I crossed an intersection, I noticed a police officer holding a stop sign perpendicular to me on the right. Imagine a ping-pong paddle where the center of the paddle has the word “STOP.” As I was driving, the officer was just within the corner of my eye, at the edge of my peripheral vision. My instinct told me to slow down and pull over, but I kept going.

Right when that happened, I saw in my rearview mirror the cop running to his car and then beginning to drive. At that point, I already knew the cop was going to chase me down. I began to slow down to avoid escalating the situation, and the cop pulled me over.

In English, the cop asked, “Did you see the stop sign?” I said I wasn’t sure, and living in California has really made me paranoid of cops. You hear many stories about incidents with police where things escalate and go wrong. Typically, in North America, cops flash their lights behind you to pull you over, not sit perpendicular, but different country, different rules.

I immediately handed him my US passport. Then he came back asking for my driver’s license. He was immediately confused because it was Canadian, and I explained that I am a dual resident. Next, the officer said, “It is a 60-euro fine for not stopping,” and I said that was fine. Then he asked me to step out of the car.

When I walked over to the police officer’s car, his partner was in the driver’s seat, and they started writing up the ticket. Oddly enough, they were very friendly and said the ticket was only 30 euros, but payable in cash only. A part of me wonders—if we hadn’t had the cash, what would have happened? Would we have been thrown in jail?

The officer who pulled me over noticed the U.S. passport and said he had a cousin who lived in California. Then he jokingly asked, “Who will you vote for in the upcoming election, Trump or Harris?” Thinking the question could be a trap, I declined to answer, saying, “In the USA, a lot of people don’t reveal who they vote for.” The officer said that in Bosnia, it is common for people to explicitly state their political preferences.

We paid the 30-euro fee and then continued on our way. Writing this months later, I still feel unsettled by the experience. I’m not sure if the relationship between European citizens and police is different, but when I was living in California, I’ve only had two experiences with police.

When you drive on the freeway in California, the technical speed limit is 65 mph, but nobody drives that slow. The average is about 73 mph, and at 80-85 mph, you risk getting a ticket. That means when driving on California highways, you technically could get a ticket at any time, but an unwritten rule exists that you usually get one at higher speeds.

During college, I was driving to church when I got a ticket, I think, for driving 81 mph. The officer got my ID and then asked if I was related to Steve Quach, the UFC fighter. I said no, and a part of me wanted to plead the “I was driving to church” card, but I didn’t say anything.

The second experience was when I was in grade 6. I was biking to school with a helmet, and a police officer turned on their sirens behind me. They said, “Congrats on wearing a helmet, here is a coupon for a free Slurpee at 7-11,” and went on their way. Even to this day, I still think pulling sirens on an elementary school kid is a bit excessive for giving a free drink.

We made it safely back to Ston using the toll road and learned the lesson to trust my instincts a little bit more on the road.

Pula

In Croatia, we booked a tour guide from Rovinj to show us around the city of Pula. Things were a little stressful because I was driving the rental car while the tour guide sat in the passenger seat, giving a historical overview of the Istria region. I quickly learned that I cannot drive and absorb something overly educational at the same time, so I more or less tuned her out and just listened to the directions.

Our first stop was Uljara Vodnjan (Vodnjan Olive Oil Mill), as she told us olives were in season and we should check out an olive oil shop. The facility was family-owned but quite modern. In one corner of the wall, there were huge crates with family names on them. This really was a community mill in the truest sense—people could bring their own olives to have olive oil made. The processing steps involved weighing the olives, washing them, crushing them into a paste using a millstone, and then using a centrifuge to separate the oil.

The employees at the shop offered us a tasting, and out came a small cup of fluorescent green olive oil. They mentioned that it was this color because it had just been harvested and was also unfiltered. Most of the olive oil we get in grocery stores is filtered, a process that removes solid particles, making the oil lighter, more transparent, and free of impurities.

One of the employees instructed us to first warm the cup of olive oil in our hands, then smell it. Next, we were to take a small amount of olive oil in our mouths, smile, and inhale. As we did this, he mentioned that high-quality olive oil should taste like fresh-cut grass and leave a spicy, peppery sensation in the throat.

I followed these steps to a tee, but I apparently put too much olive oil in my cup. I started coughing—a lot. I hacked away for a couple of minutes while everyone laughed. The unfiltered olive oil was unreal and unlike anything I’d ever tasted. It was super intense, slightly medicinal, and completely punched me in the face.

In North America, we tend to go through diet trends, and at one point, the Mediterranean diet was all the rage—advocating for olive oil and eating fish. But watching the process of olive oil harvesting in person gave me a different perspective. It wasn’t just about the health benefits; making and consuming olive oil here was about being in tune with the rhythms of nature and community. Obviously, not everyone has the luxury of owning an olive orchard, but there is a sense of celebration when a harvest is completed.

Earlier in our trip, we were in Ston and had an amazing olive oil at a restaurant. We asked if we could buy some, but they said, “No, sorry. We make our own olive oil and only have enough for the restaurant.”

It’s amazing how much diversity exists in food worldwide. For example, we can get button mushrooms year-round at the grocery store, but in Vancouver, when fall and winter hit, that’s when we get foraged mushrooms from the mountains—varieties like chanterelles, black trumpets, and hedgehogs, just to name a few.

About an hour later, we arrived in the city of Pula. Parking was a bit confusing for our tour guide, so after asking a parking attendant a few questions, we decided on a paid lot. She paid via a web link on her phone, and we headed out.

Our first stop was the Pula Arena, also known as the Pula Amphitheater. It was very reminiscent of the Colosseum in Rome—roughly a circle without a roof. Originally, it was used for gladiator fights, but those were banned with the rise of Christianity. The site had fallen into disrepair over the years but underwent a major renovation in 1985.

Nowadays, the Pula Arena is the cultural heart of the city, hosting concerts, film screenings, and even ice-skating shows. Our guide casually mentioned that Dua Lipa, Elton John, and Andrea Bocelli had all performed there. I did a double take—wait, what?

It’s fascinating how a small city like Pula repurposed such an ancient landmark for cultural events. It made me reflect on Vancouver, where I don’t think we have a single iconic landmark that represents the heartbeat of the city. San Francisco has the Golden Gate Bridge, New York has the Statue of Liberty, and other cities have their own marketing symbol, but Vancouver doesn’t seem to have one definitive emblem.

For lunch, we went to a restaurant in the middle of town. Tour guides usually excuse themselves to eat alone, but we enjoy dining with our guides, so she joined us. We ordered pasta with black truffles, a regional specialty, and they were quite generous with the truffle shavings.

Tour guides typically try to keep personal opinions out of their tours, but at some point, the topic of credit cards came up. She bluntly stated that credit cards were a tool for governments to control people. Things got a little awkward. Then she realized she couldn’t renew parking through her phone, so I ran back to the lot to add coins to the meter. Turns out, the parking lot had a two-hour limit, so while she couldn’t renew online, we could extend our time by manually inserting coins—giving us the extra hour we needed.

As we continued our tour, our guide explained that, unlike other parts of Croatia, Pula largely escaped direct conflict during the Yugoslav Wars. Originally a military outpost, the city had a shipyard that employed thousands, but in the early 1990s, the Yugoslav army left Pula, marking its transition into a civilian city. As the war escalated, many regions sought independence, leading to the current borders of Croatia today.


I’m grateful that Pula largely escaped the devastation of the Yugoslav Wars and that the city has not only survived but thrived in modern times. Walking through its streets, there’s a sense of resilience—history is ever-present, but it doesn’t feel weighed down by the past. The Pula Arena, once a battleground for gladiators, now hosts world-renowned artists; the shipyards that once served military needs have transitioned to civilian industry. There’s something hopeful about that—a city that has seen so much history yet continues to reinvent itself while holding onto its heritage. It’s a reminder that even in regions touched by conflict, life moves forward, and culture finds a way to flourish.

Lofoten Islands

We are having our first dinner in Lofoten Islands, and it is pretty quiet in the restaurant.  Apparently May is the shoulder season for tourism, but we catch a break because the weather 65 degrees and sunny.  A typical May here sees fewer crowds, with temperatures in the 40s, along with rain and even snow.

There’s only one other party in the restaurant—two older people and a guy in his 40s. I’m casually spying, trying to figure out their relationship, when we break the ice and ask where they’re visiting from. Turns out, they’re from New York, and the older couple are the guy’s parents. A tour guide pops in a bit later, giving them tips on how to prep for a midnight hike.

Lofoten is way up north, inside the Arctic Circle, so this time of year, the sun never really sets. Having daylight at 11:30 p.m. kind of messes with your brain, so sure, I guess a midnight hike makes sense?

The next day we drove out to Lofoten Seaweed. It originally wasn’t on the itinerary but Jason saw a sample package at the restaurant, so we decided to go. Itinerary wise, my travel style is try to plan as much as in advance as possible, and then shift plans if needed.  Rick Steves, a famous Europe travel author in a recent interview, had some sage advice of the importance of saying “yes” to serendipitous moments, and putting yourself in situations where they can occur.

I always thought of seaweed as primarily Japanese, with its deep traditions of making dashi.  But entering the store, I was really surprised on the diversity available.  There were some rarer types, like dulse, which has a bacon-like flavor when roasted or fried, and truffle seaweed, which naturally tastes like truffles. Vancouver has seaweed too, but it’s mostly kombu and wakame.

The history of seaweed and Norway and Iceland is quite interesting because there are some indications that Vikings ate seaweed to help with nutrition on long voyages.  The company’s founders, both are inspiring where they spent years harvesting seaweed in a male dominated fishing industry eventually winning converts over.

After picking up some seaweed to take home, we ask how many hours of sunlight they get in winter. She tells us they get just one hour—but adds that the Northern Lights, which so many people chase, are incredibly common here in winter.

Most of the time, Northern Lights only really look good because of cameras and long exposure, and seeing it in person is kind of like a Windows 95 wallpaper updating slowly.  It looks like colored clouds in the sky, but apparently in this region, Northern Lights are bright enough to reflect green light on the snow. 

People see those stunning images online and make it a lifelong dream to witness the Northern Lights. I wonder what it must be like to live in a place like Lofoten or the Yukon, where they’re an ordinary sight. I had assumed that 23-hour winter darkness would be depressing, but the locals don’t seem to give off that vibe at all.

It’s fascinating to see how traditions evolve—what was once a deeply rooted Japanese practice is now thriving in Norway. It makes me wonder: in a hundred years, could Norwegian seaweed surpass Japanese seaweed in quality and reputation?

Food history is unpredictable. After all, sushi was virtually unheard of outside Asia until a few decades ago, and now it’s a global staple. Maybe one day, kelp will be just as common on menus around the world. Who knows? In the future, we might be ordering kelp burgers with the same ease we now order sushi rolls.

Was Hitler a Disney fan?

After a couple days of exploring the west side of Lofoten Island, we trekked over to the small city of Svolvear to take a tour of the Trollfjorgarden water area.  After the cruise we explored the main city square, and there was this small World War 2 museum recommended by Lonely Planet. 

Entering the museum, there was an older gentleman sitting at the reception.  I wouldn’t call this a museum in a traditional sense, but rather a couple rooms with mostly memorabilia from World War 2, with a focus from Norway during the time of 1940-1945

Looking around, I’m pretty surprised to see a lot of actual Nazi memorabilia, including Nazi uniforms, insignias, and machinery. Most museums are curated, but this one is just a collection of items that I’m not sure would be shown in a normal museum.


Walking into one of the dimly lit rooms, I was startled to see mannequins dressed in full Gestapo uniforms, standing in a chillingly realistic recreation of a Nazi-era office. The walls were draped with swastika banners, and an old wooden desk sat at the center, cluttered with wartime documents, a rotary phone, a radio, and a worn-out map marked with strategic points. A large Nazi eagle emblem loomed over the scene, its shadow casting an eerie presence on the wall.

The atmosphere was heavy, almost oppressive, as if stepping into a moment frozen in time. Unlike most museums, where history is curated with context and neutrality, this room felt raw—almost as if I had intruded into a sinister past that was never meant to be seen again. The sheer presence of these artifacts was unsettling, a stark reminder of the bureaucratic machinery that orchestrated war and oppression.

After exploring the exhibit, we asked the staff member at the desk about anything particularly interesting we should focus on. He directed us to a section we had missed, which displayed drawings of characters from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. According to the story he shared, some believe these sketches were created by Adolf Hitler. While the evidence is circumstantial, tests suggest that the drawings date back to the 1940s and were hidden behind a painting signed “A. Hitler.”

He added his own commentary, suggesting that if the drawings are indeed authentic, they serve as a reminder that even those whom history deems as purely evil may have complex and multifaceted personalities.  It looks like the curator never paid to authenticate the drawings so we never actually will know if these are real or not

I kind of wonder why he bought these drawings if they are circumstantial.  Was he trying to make a point about adding complexity to villains in our history?

When we look back at people who have done really terrible things, I don’t think we learn much about their lives holistically, instead we learn about the things they done, and putting people in that box of good and bad makes it easy to digest history.

If these drawings are authentic, this is an uncomfortable thing to reconcile with.  Could someone who has done so many terrible things to humanity have a soft side for Disney?

Maybe that’s what makes history so unsettling—it refuses to be simple. It’s easier to see figures like Hitler as pure evil, to categorize the past into neat moral lessons. But artifacts like these, whether authentic or not, complicate that perception. They force us to acknowledge that even those who committed unimaginable atrocities had personal interests, emotions, and contradictions. Does that change anything? Not really. But it does remind us that history isn’t just about villains and heroes—it’s about real people. And that’s what makes it both terrifying and necessary to remember.

Why Isn’t European Food Piping Hot?

We arrived in the city of Tolmin, Slovenia, which is the base for the Julian Alps. We learned about this area through Lonely Planet, and since we got a very cheap car rental, we decided to drive from Plitvice National Park to Tolmin, then through the Julian Alps via the scenic Vršič Pass.

After meeting our Vrbo host, he gave us some tips on checking out the water near the park, which was about a five-minute drive away. When we arrived at the park, the water’s color was stunning. It was a bright turquoise, almost as if there was dye in the water. It brought back a very specific memory of Kicking Horse River at Yoho National Park, Canada, as the color was very similar.

Most people are very aware of Banff, but there are actually three parks nearby: Jasper, Yoho, and Kootenay. I actually think Jasper is much nicer than Banff, but you might need to be strategic in your visit, as large parts of the area were affected by fires this past summer.

That night, we ate at Okrepčevalnica Tolminska, a restaurant serving local dishes like Frika, Soča trout, and Jota..  We e-mailed the Tolmin tourist board and they recommended this one for local traditional style food.

The restaurant was next to Tolmin Gorge, but it was too late to enter the park since it was nighttime. We went in October, so it was shoulder season, with the prospects of unpredictable weather at this time.

I’m always a bit conflicted when people say, “Local food is the best food.” I think local food mainly reflects the historical ingredient selection of an area.

We ordered a chicken and cheese dish and the Soča trout. The food was okay—pretty simple in preparation.

The restroom situation was a bit odd, as you had to get a token from the restaurant or pay a euro to use it. This was probably put in place due to the high volume of visitors, given their location right next to Tolmin Gorge.

On the way back to the table from the restroom, we saw another Asian couple sitting outside. Usually, I wouldn’t do a double take, but during our trip, there were very few Asian people anywhere. While waiting for our food, we decided to strike up a conversation.

When traveling, I feel it’s pretty easy to start a conversation by asking, “Are you on holiday?” They said they were, and they were both from Singapore—one was on exchange in Spain, and the other was on exchange in Switzerland. Their trip was a bit different, as they were spending a few more days in the Julian Alps to do outdoor activities like white-water rafting.


The next day, we drove through the stunning Julian Alps, which felt quite similar to the drive between Jasper and Banff. Along the road, there were several pull-offs, and after a short walk, we would reach either a waterfall or a scenic viewpoint. The water resembled what we had seen in Tolmin—either a deep turquoise or emerald green, depending on the glacier particles, mineral content, or sunlight

A couple of days later, we were on the last leg of our trip in Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia. I know it can be a bit stressful, but we also try to book most of our restaurants in advance, which does take a lot of work prior to the trip.

Fortunately, we happened to be in the region during Slovenia’s Restaurant Week. I don’t know if it’s due to Europe’s socialist egalitarian ideas, but Restaurant Week there was extremely cheap. We enjoyed several three-course tasting menus at Michelin restaurants for about $30 to 40 USD each.

In 2022, I watched The Menu. The premise is a horror story that takes place entirely in a fancy restaurant (they even had Dominique Crenn, a Michelin-starred chef from San Francisco, as a restaurant consultant). The movie is gory, but at its core, it critiques culinary elitism. While it exaggerates quite a few things, it also lands some interesting punches.

After watching, I kept thinking about it—particularly about whether fine dining is worth the money. I remembered a specific experience in San Francisco when I had a tasting menu with friends and was still hungry after it was over.

The Michelin Guide has historically had deep roots in and placed an emphasis on European-style cuisine, although things have begun to change in the past couple of years. It’s strange—why did France become the arbiter of food standards? Why not Asia, with its complex techniques for creating broths, or Mexico, with its rich culinary history tracing back to the Mayan civilization?

In Ljubljana, as we were walking back from a coffee shop, we coincidentally ran into the same couple from Tolmin again. There was definitely a sense of camaraderie the second time, and we debriefed each other on how the trip was going. I joked that I missed just having a bowl of rice, and the other couple agreed, saying, “European food is good, but I just want hot food. And in Singapore, we have plenty of that.”

n cooking, we assess food by the five tastes (salty, sour, sweet, bitter, and umami), but there are two other important factors: texture and temperature. Texture makes a meal more interesting, but temperature is where I think there is a big difference between European and Asian food.

Many Asian dishes prioritize temperature—like a hot bowl of Japanese ramen, Korean tofu stew, or Vietnamese pho. But, generally speaking, European food doesn’t have many dishes that are served super piping hot, to my knowledge.

The book Food in History, which I read back in university is a pretty fascinating and a bit dense book about the history of food starting in the Middle Ages to the present day. 

Medieval dining was characterized by a haphazard assortment of dishes placed on the table at the same time.  A “course” was not a sequence of dishes, but a variety of options available simultaneously.

In the 18th and 19th centuries, French menus began to be codified, and presented in groups of 3 courses in a style called service à la russe which was more individualized and didn’t really promote sharing.

This trip made me realize that while discovering new cuisines is exciting, there’s something irreplaceable about the foods that remind us of home. No matter where we travel, the flavors of our childhood always call us back.

in Personal Newsletter, Travel | 6,165 Words | 1 Comment

Braces

Growing up I had the same dentist from childhood to adulthood. My dentist’s office was run by Dentist Chung (in Vietnamese I called him Bác Sĩ Chung – which means Dr Chung translated directly) and his sister running the office.

The office was in Garden Grove, in between the Korean and Vietnamese districts. Walking in I would always smell the incense from an herbal shop next door.

The office looked like it was from the 1970s. They had this really old but comfortable couch and constantly played oldies music from the local radio station.

I distinctly recall being afraid as a kid going in, and somehow the office manager convinced me if I did a good job with a cleaning I could someday get the dentist’s chair. With my warped sense of rationalizing things, it all made sense and I calmed down.

When I was in early high school Dr Chung said, “you should think about getting braces and fixing your underbite.” I really had no issues with my teeth so far, but I entertained his proposal. I went to an Orthodontist consult.

The Orthodontist I saw was in the heart of Little Saigon – the Vietnamese area of Westminster. When coming in I waited in the reception area for a bit, where the Orthodontist admitted me in the office.


He asked me to bite down and said pretty quickly – “class 3 malocclusion jaw surgery – recommend jaw surgery.” He explained to me that the process would be to remove my 4 wisdom teeth, have braces for 2 years, have jaw surgery, and then have braces again for potentially another year. He didn’t explain much any pros and cons and ushered me away to talk to the assistant for more details.

In another room, the assistant put on some DVD of the process of dealing with class 3 malocclusions. It meant that I had an underbite, and what they needed to do is remove my wisdom teeth to make space, and then crack my jaw and move it back. The recovery would involve sewing my lips (?) and going on a liquid diet for a while.

The assistant also said that some people liked having this jaw surgery because of improvements to their facial profile. She also mentioned that some people don’t even recognize them after the surgery.

The assistant ended with saying, “You know, Vietnamese are a superstitious bunch, so some say that doing jaw surgery will change your destiny!”

Okay, count me in for not believing in superstition, but really that is the absolute worst thing you could say to a teenager after getting a quick 5 minute consult, a gory video on the treatment of an underbite, and somebody saying it will change your destiny. At that point, I decided not to go along with my surgery and went along my merry way.

A couple years after the consult, I called the dentist’s office to book an appointment, and I was told the dentist had a heart attack! He evidently had been eating a pretty unhealthy diet (I know correlation isn’t causation, but he did eat McDonalds every day for lunch). Fortunately he bounced back and started working again.

A couple years after the heart attack, he actually had another heart attack and this time fatal. When he passed away, my family went to his funeral and saw his grieving sister, and the dentist’s daughter who I talked on and off with throughout going to the office. Oddly enough, the dentist’s daughter did a quick internship at one of my old startups back in the day.

After grieving the loss of my dentist, there were the practical issues of finding a new dentist. Pausing for a moment, I remembered, my optometrist’s brother (whose parents live next to my parents) was a dentist.

Dr Tan Huynh was also in the heart of Little Saigon, but when I drove into his office, they had  computers that could do x-rays, and an efficient staff to make cleanings and appointments way easier. I had realized at that point I had been going to Dr Chung’s office with technology from the stone ages.

With the first consult, the dentist asked me to bite down and asked if I considered braces and jaw surgery to fix my underbite. This time being older, I peppered him with questions on pros and cons. He mentioned my teeth were functionally fine at the moment, but in the future I might not be able to chew as my teeth wore down. Asking what age I might not be able to eat, he threw out what seemed to be the random number of 60.

Remembering the experience at my last Orthodontist, I wasn’t convinced the pros outweighed the cons (eg – cons meaning my destiny would change).

When I moved up to Vancouver, I was faced yet again on finding a new dentist. Jason recommended me to visit an office nearby, where Dr M was the first to see me.

He did the whole consult and analysis, but this time they took pictures and some fancy 360 xray scan. He brought up again my underbite, and we again talked through the pros and cons. I asked whether I should try to fix it and he said a lot of people have underbites and just manage it. Apparently when eating I push food through my back teeth immediately.

During the pandemic when I got my first cleaning I saw Dr F, a younger dentist who was one of the co-owners of the office. She saw my bite and asked if I wanted to fix my underbite, and after the 4th mention in my life it got my thinking a little bit more seriously about it. This time she said Invisalign might be able to fix it.

I came back to another appointment after my cleaning to get an Invisalign consult. They did some scans and because of the pandemic they wanted to limit in person meetings, so the follow-up was a zoom call.

Dr F proceeded to say that she initially thought she could take out my middle bottom tooth, but to fix my underbite.   However she concluded Invisalign wouldn’t work and that I should see an Orthodontist.

This time I was a little more open to it because I was no longer traveling as a consultant during the pandemic, and wearing a mask would make it pretty easy to hide the fact I had braces.

Weeks later I saw the orthodontist Doctor D and they did the initial analysis. He basically said I have two options. First, remove 2 wisdom teeth, braces for 2 years, jaw surgery, then braces for 2 years. Second, remove 6 teeth, braces for 2 years and you are done.

I peppered him with questions on the pros and cons health wise, and he said functionally both would lead to the same outcome. He said the jaw surgery would change my profile, but would come with more risks since it was a surgery. I decided to go with option 2.  I also wondered why when I was a teenager I wasn’t presented with a non jaw surgery option, but I’m guessing it was because the technology of modeling these outcomes weren’t available.

Dentistry is an interesting field because most dentists and orthodontists can’t tell you definitely what will happen with your teeth in the future. It all seems to be what risk/reward you are comfortable with.
As part of the assessment I had to pay $500.  If I chose to move forward with braces they would credit my account, but if not, I would lose it.  I think sunk cost fallacy nabbed me this time as this pushed me over the edge to do a final commitment of the decision.

Before putting on braces, and I had to get 6 teeth extracted.  To ease the pain, I got 3 extracted from my regular dentist, and 3 extracted from an extraction specialist doctor.  Let’s just say, the extraction specialist finished the entire job in about 30 minutes while my regular dentist took about 1.5 hours.  My regular dentist felt so guilty taking so long she gave me her cell phone number and told me to call her if I had any post extraction complexities.

The process of wearing braces involved seeing the orthodontist about every 6 weeks for an adjustment, and compliance to get the results you want.  In addition to braces, you have a wire running across and little hooks where you can attach rubber bands to.  Throughout the process compliance meant always wearing and rotating the rubber bands as needed as well as avoiding eating really hard food (like nuts), to avoid breaking your bracket.  Slipping up on compliance inevitably leads to a longer total process.

When I saw my Orthodontist, I noticed I was the oldest person in the office as it was mostly kids and teenagers.  Often I would overhear my Orthodontist sternly warn the kids that they weren’t being compliant by either not brushing their teeth well or not wearing their rubber bands. I would then hear parents berating their children in one sentence, and in the next sentence begged them to be compliant.  It usually ended with the parents trying to guilt trip their children by saying seemingly unhelpful things like, “don’t you want good teeth like your brother.”

Getting braces as an adult is a bit different as I was on a mission to be compliant and to finish it as soon as possible because I paid for every penny of it.  Psychologically, something different clicks in your head when it is your money on the line.

The initial side effects I had were teeth sensitivity.  There were times hard food was difficult to eat (like sandwiches, cucumbers, steak, etc), so I bought these tiny tots scissors originally intended for parents to use when cutting food for their babies.  The scissors were an obnoxious bright blue color, but I liked it because it was compact and had a case.

One time I had a business meeting with a customer at a restaurant and when the food came I took out the scissors.  The person next to me paused and asked why I had bright blue scissors.  I explained to him the whole dental situation, and then the whole table caught wind of the conversation and asked me about the scissors.  It was a bit awkward in the beginning, but then the whole table spent the next hour talking their dental issues.  Also through this experience I learned bringing scissors is generally helpful at restaurants if you are sharing food.


2.5 years later (6 months behind schedule mind you), I had an appointment to remove my braces.  The doctor told me saying, “there was a lot of movement of your teeth, we probably need to install a permanent wire retainer behind your bottom front teeth”.  And at the same time I was told I needed to wear a retainer full time for 6 months, and then at night time for the rest of my life.

I was a little shocked as I never really put two and two together that after the braces I would have to wear a retainer at night in my mouth for the rest of my life.  I wonder if ortho offices gave a really honest assessment of the entire process (brackets breaking, wires poking, teeth sensitivity, retainers for the rest of your life), if fewer people would opt in.

Am I happy with the result?  Well my underbite is fixed now, but really the whole intended health outcome of being to chew when I’m 60 might require another blog post in 20ish years.

in Personal Newsletter | 1,966 Words | Comment

Vietnam

Grandma and the Vietnam War
When I was young, friends would visit, and there was one photo on the shelf that caught their attention in my room.  It was a photo of an elderly Caucasian lady and their first question to me was, “How come you didn’t take the stock photo out of the frame?”  I replied that she was my grandma, and they became even more confused because they thought I was 100% Vietnamese, so why would my grandma be white?

In 1975, my mom was working in the Saigon Adventist Hospital in Vietnam, and around April 20, conditions were deteriorating quickly in the capital with rumors that the communists would take over soon.  She witnessed firsthand horrors of the war working in the emergency room, with one memory of treating an 8-year old where a grenade had exploded near his head.  Due to the severity of the injuries, the child passed away and she grieved heavily with her family.

Similar to the fall of Afghanistan in 2021, people became desperate to get out of the country, especially if they were associated with the Americans.  Charter flights were leaving around the clock organized by the US State Department to evacuate as many people out of Vietnam as possible.

There was one charter flight where one lady was a no-show and my mom took her place.  At that moment, she left everything behind, her family, her possessions, and was only left with a US $20 dollar bill given to her.

On the other side of the Pacific Ocean, my foster grandma, Beryl Bason heard calls from the Loma Linda Adventist church about sponsoring Vietnamese refugees to help get them on their feet.  My grandma ended up hosting my mom, and two of her nursing school classmates in San Diego for a couple of months where they all went back to nursing to become certified nurses to work in the US.

My mom met my dad after immigrating to the US and settled in Orange County, California where it would end up having one of the biggest populations of Vietnamese people outside of Vietnam. 

Return to the home land part 1

It is a bit strange, but according to my parents, my first language was actually Vietnamese. They were afraid I would be confused learning two languages, so they switched to speaking to me in English when I was young.  Since then new research has shown kids can learn multiple languages without issue. Because I never learned Vietnamese formally, my proficiency was stunted, unlike my Spanish which I consider myself semi-fluent in due to four great years of education in high school.

There was a running joke that since I really didn’t look Vietnamese, my friends bought me a 23andme genetic test to settle the issue once and for all.  Funnily enough, the first result of the test showed 1% speculative European, but the results eventually tightened up to confirm that my origins are indeed 100% Vietnamese.


Most kids of immigrants make some type of ‘return to the homeland’ type journey when they are young, and for me it was when I was 13.  A priority for my parents was to meet my grandparents while they were still alive and to meet my extended family.

I have to admit, that was a rough trip.   My mom’s hometown of Tam Kỳ wasn’t really well developed and I remember when I had to go to the bathroom, it was in an outhouse not unlike a camping trip.  Hardly anyone spoke much English so I struggled talking with my cousins and just about everyone else

For some reason, my parents also had wacky expectations that after I went to Vietnam I would become fluent in Vietnamese.  Let’s just say that didn’t happen; becoming fluent in something requires understanding the foundational basics of grammar, language, and some schooling which I didn’t get.

As an adult, Vietnam was never really on my radar to visit.  I befriended some Europeans at a previous job, and they told me they spent months in the country visiting every nook and cranny.  Because of my last trip, my memories of Vietnam were primarily associated with seeing family, extended family, and more family so I didn’t get to see the country on my own terms (although I would have been too young anyways to make my own decisions).

Return to the homeland  part 2– 27 years later

In 2014, I took a trip to Mexico with my partner and parents since they had a time share in Cabo San Lucas.  It was the first international-ish trip with my parents and I was a bit nervous as I had never traveled with them as adults.

I was pleasantly surprised that we all had a great time with each other, and the trip went really well.  There was even a time where I said, let’s go snorkeling in Cabo Pulmo (about 2 hours away) and they were okay with the drive.  On the way the road seemed to end and I took the right fork when I should have taken the left fork and got the car stuck in the ditch in the sand.  There was nobody around, and I didn’t have any cell phone data (at that time North America plans didn’t exist yet).  I don’t know why exactly but my partner and my dad pushed the car while I hit the accelerator and we got the car out of the ditch.  After such an incident like that, I’m happy my parents didn’t disown me after such a scary incident. Happy to say, that snorkeling was probably some of the best I’ve ever seen, with a travel adventure to back it up.

Since then I’ve been intentional to travel with my parents as much as possible as I know they are getting older, and there will be a time they won’t be able to travel anymore due to their age or health.  Unfortunately this type of thinking boded true as when my dad passed away, I am grateful that I could travel with him quite a bit.

In March 2020, we scheduled a trip to visit Vietnam all together, and it would have been 27 years since I had last visited.  However at around February 2020 we were getting news that schools in Vietnam were getting shut down due to Covid.  At the time there weren’t hard shut downs, but out of an abundance of caution we cancelled the trip.

In early 2023, my partner proposed we go to Vietnam all together around Thanksgiving time.  My parents initially were going to go, but then declined to hang out with the grandkids.  Initially I was relying on my parents to do a lot of the planning, but now that we were on our own we began doing research on what to do.  My parents not going ended up being fortunate, as my dad got seriously sick around the same time, so it was good he was in North America.

With the Lonely Planet book, I began researching things to do and oddly enough realized that I actually didn’t know much about Vietnam in terms of the cities, regions, or even things to do.  After much research (and talking to my cousins and friends), we decided to stick mainly in the north because it was drier, and the central area was rainy season so we didn’t spend too much time there.

Vietnamese – Forked

We started our trip in the city of Hanoi, which is the capital in the north.  Probably the most important expression everyone learns when visiting a foreign country is, “where is the bathroom?”.  My proficiency in Vietnamese is kind of like a bunch of lego blocks in my head with limited abilities of building certain structures.  Everything kind of comes out in bits and pieces, but at the least I know how to say

Cầu tiêu ở đâu? (Where is the bathroom – but literal translation is ‘where is the toilet’)

Of course the waiter in the restaurant gives me a really confused look, and says, you mean

Nhà vệ sinh ở đâu? (‘Where is the bathroom – but literal translation is ‘where is the hygienic house’)

Now I give the puzzled look as I don’t understand.  I’ve never heard of a bathroom called “Nhà vệ sinh” in my life growing up in Southern California at all.

One of the things which is important to realize is when the refugees came from Vietnam to North America and other parts of the world in 1975, two Vietnamese diaspora now existed in different locations around the world.  One in Vietnam the main branch, and another branch in North America.

Talking to my mom and some relatives about this, my guess is the etymology of “where is the bathroom” in Vietnam pre 1975 probably was “Cầu tiêu”, and that at some time post 1975 it changed to “Nhà vệ sinh”.  Even the English language, has radically changed much in 40 years.  When I talk with the newest generation in high school, there are a bunch of words that I have no idea what they mean.

Soleil Ho, talks about this how Vietnamese food in North America is basically food from Vietnam from the 1970s.  Again, it makes sense because the food traditions were from the initial wave of refugees.

I talked to a good friend living in Vietnam about this, and she mentioned how Vietnamese people living in North America now have a Vietnamese – North American accent.  The Vietnamese spoken in North America comes off as a lighter tone and people in the north consider this tone as someone who has studied formally.

This kind of explains a weird situation I had in a grocery market.  I was asking what was in the center of this candy, and the lady remarked in Vietnamese, “Your Vietnamese is so good, how many years did you study for?”.  Inside I was dying because I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was an overseas Vietnamese (Việt kiều Mỹ).  I’m sure if she knew that she probably would have instead asked, “why is your Vietnamese so bad?”

The other surprising fork which I hadn’t really considered is how different the northern dialects are different from the southern dialects.  I distinctly recall several friends learning Vietnamese through duolingo, and their parents asking why they are learning the northern accent.  In the eyes of the north, their dialect is often viewed as the gold standard of speaking.  Below are examples of English Word – Northern Vietnamese Dialect – Southern Vietnamese Dialect as explained by one of my friends in Vietnam.

English WordNorthern Vietnamese DialectSouthern Vietnamese Dialect
Cupcócly
Fruithoa quảtrái cây
10 thousand10 nghìn10 ngàn
Pineappledứathơm
Passion fruitchanh leochanh dây
Bowlbắtchến

You don’t have to be proficient in Vietnamese just to see these are totally different words.  I am happy to report when I later went to my parent’s hometown Đà Nẵng (central Vietnam), I did have an easier time understanding and speaking to people.

Reconciliation

Maybe it isn’t me not giving Vietnam enough credit, but the museum scene in Hanoi was unexpectedly stellar.  There is the Hoa Lo Prison Museum (made famous where John McCain was held as a POW), Ethnology Museum (about minority populations), Women’s Museum, Ho Chi Minh Museum, and the list actually does go on and on quite a bit.

One day we were kind of tired so we went to a museum right next to the hotel, aptly called the Hanoi Museum.  On the second floor was an exhibit on the American War.  That’s right, in Vietnam, it is not called the Vietnam War, it is called the American War.  Much of the panels were spent talking about Americans as the aggressors, and the breaking of the Paris peace accords.  However, the last panel discussed a lot about reconciliation between Vietnam and America.

It is amazing to me that 40 years later, formerly bitter enemies are now actually allies.  In the midst of some of the grand global conflicts occurring now, it is helpful to have hope that I truly believe anything is possible in terms of peace. 

Hà Giang Loop Tour

From family friends we heard about a trek that was not exactly off the beaten path, but not the first thing tourists do.  There is a 3 day loop tour that most people rent motorcycles and drive up the Ma Li Peng pass bordering China.  Given we didn’t want to be riding motorcycles on mountain roads for 3 days, we booked a 3 day car trip.

We booked with the Yesd travel agency (huge plug for them here, I do recommend this agency), where the tour guides consist of ethnic minorities of the region.  Talking to the guide, there are over 54 ethnic minorities there.  I was kind of shocked, and humbled that I really knew so little of Vietnam.  The drive consisted of driving through spectacular greenery on the mountain roads and we took many stops for photos. 

Our accommodations were at houses belonging to the ethnic tribes in the region.  We first stayed with the Tay people, and I was pretty surprised that our accommodation, despite being on the second floor of a traditional wood structure had a shower, heat pump, and pretty fast wifi.


For dinner, we would eat with the families, and it was nice in a way that it wasn’t performative.  The families didn’t talk about their lives or their minority status.  It was just a regular dinner you would eat with a family.  With the eco-tourism booming there, it’s just easier to act like you normally do when you have visitors and not need to put on a show.

On the second day we did a tour through a Hmong village.  It was rural in its location, but not in the stereotypical sense because everyone there had fancy cell phones.  The Hmong people there still adhered to their traditional of marrying early and their agricultural routines.

We sat down for tea with one of the Hmong shop owners when I noticed he was wearing a French beret.  I kind of asked why he was wearing a beret, and he explained that from French colonial rule, this clothing item was introduced.  Ever since that time, the beret in that region became traditional wear.

Thinking about this further, it really has helped me alter my thinking of the word ‘authentic’.  There is this Vietnamese Instant Pot Facebook group which constantly argues about recipes not being ‘authentic’.  Some claim it is only authentic when it is from the source home country.  Others argue a recipe is authentic when you cater towards the spirit of it.

Rachel Ray a little while back then sowed a bit of controversy from her pho video. 2 years ago people were raging against her, “how dare she change the recipe, that’s not authentic!”.

Coming back the Hmong person I wonder, who is the arbiter of when something is authentic and traditional?  After hearing his story, I think it’s difficult to nail down authenticity to a static period of time.  And that the reality is the traditions change through time, and perhaps there is no such thing as authenticity.

Ha Long Bay

After Ha Giang, we went to Ha Long Bay, a large bay of water where cruise ships sail around for about 1-2 days.  We took a shuttle and from Hanoi the trip was only 2 hours.  Expecting the trip to be a straight shot, I was surprised we stopped half way for a ‘restroom stop’.  The restroom stop was next to a pretty fancy gift shop.

At the check-in area of Ha Long Bay, there were tons of people representing a diverse set of people all over the world similar to an airport.  The check-in area was a bit chaotic and you board a small boat to join the big boat.

On our particular cruise boat, we somehow joined everyone from Portugal as there were probably only two other couples who weren’t from Europe.  We befriended one couple who was from New York while watching a cooking demonstration.  The guy was half Vietnamese and half Indian, which was pretty fascinating to me as I have never met anyone of that mix.  He was willing to entertain some of my questions on which side he felt most comfortable with.  I imagine he probably gets asked this question quite a bit being mixed.

After dinner I stood towards the front of the boat looking at the view and the cruise manager was out there also.  He looked pretty young, probably early 20s so I greeted him with “Chào em” (hello little brother).  In Vietnamese when you talk to anybody you address people relative to the age of your parents, or relative to your own age.  Snafus always happen about people incorrectly assuming age causing people to correct you on how you should address them.

I don’t know if that was a good or bad thing, but he took that as a cue that I was in Vietnamese and began speaking to me in Vietnamese.  I explained to him my Vietnamese wasn’t that great and it was my first time visiting Vietnam since I was 13.   He said something really surprising during the conversation said, “Welcome home, even though you forgot a lot of your Vietnamese, it will come back to you.”

We were pretty mixed about the experience especially coming after an awesome cultural and nature experience from Ha Giang.  Ha Long Bay oddly enough was one of our least favorite parts of our trip more so for the feeling of having a Disneyland type experience of tons of people and long lines. Ha Giang in the next couple years will have a faster road built from Hanoi cutting the drive time to about 2 – 2.5 hours so expect tourism in that region to increase soon.

Da Nang

The last part of our trip was to the central area of Da Nang.  My uncle (my dad’s brother) still lives in Da Nang, and my cousins flew from Saigon to meet us up there.  On the first night being there, they took us out to eat at a famous Banh Xeo place.

Bánh  Xèo is crispy turmeric rice crepe where the ingredients are either chicken, pork, or shrimp.  The name of the dish is a fun play of words roughly translating to sizzling item.  Bánh is kind of a weird weird as it could refer to a lot of things depending on the word it is paired with.  My cousins know I don’t eat pork and shrimp, so I was surprised when they mentioned we could order Beef Banh Xeo.

I inquired further why there is a beef banh xeo, as I never heard of that before.  Apparently because of the Korean influences into the city due to tourism and business, the people of Da Nang began changing their food to cater to the Koreans.  Because of that, a couple new dishes emerged like Banh Xeo Bo and Mi Quang Bo.  The latter dish is traditionally made of chicken, turmeric, and shrimp, but now they made a beef version.  What previously was an authentic dish of only chicken, pork, and shrimp now added beef as an option.

Next to Da Nang is Hoi An, the famous town known for its lanterns at night and on the river.  On the way there, my cousins wanted me to visit a street named after my grandfather, Quach Xan.  I asked what he was known for, and she replied that he was a great leader for the country.  Just kind of putting things together, I know that my dad and his brother had a classic story of joining different sides of the war and that would mean my grandfather was a communist.

I had kind of mixed feelings standing there on the street taking pictures by the street sign with an ode to my family name.  As a great leader to Vietnam, I wonder what he did?  What is interesting about Vietnam is that half of the population was born after the war so it is something that isn’t talked about much.

In Hanoi, we did a walking tour with a student from Hanoi University.  We asked what his generation thought about politics and said that mostly everybody was apolitical and most were concerned more about their economic futures rather than the political state of the country. 

When we think of wars, history tends to paint everything in black and white strokes.  There were the good guys and bad guys.  I inquired about my grandfather a little bit with my mom and the war in general and she said really back then, both sides were rather corrupt, and her opinion was neither side really had the people’s interest at heart.

During my time in Vietnam I had a sense that even with my cousins they didn’t want to talk about the war so it is a topic I didn’t approach.

My cousin gave me a quick history of Da Nang, explaining how the city managed to develop quickly and in general Vietnam has managed to raise the living standards of most people around the country.  Da Nang used to be a poorer city, but not has attracted a lot of foreign business and tourists.

After the visit to my grandfather’s street we arrived in Hoi An.  Half the city had been flooded (which apparently is pretty typical), so we walked around the areas we could.  Hoi An is recommended by everyone to visit via people and guidebooks, but I found the city a bit touristy, almost something akin to Venice in Italy.  It was overly crowded and touristy by day and early night, but as further nightfall set, there was a charm to the city as the crowds dissipated.

Áo Dài

On the last day of the trip there, I wanted to buy an áo dài (literally translates to long dress).  It is a traditional Vietnamese dress that has gone through its own evolution.  Originally it was only available in blue and red, but as time has progressed different fabrics, styles, and colors have emerged to make it more modern.

My cousin took me to a mini mall to shop around, and after great negotiation, I bought one that was beautifully hand decorated with a bit more of a modern sensibility.  I asked my cousins how often they wear it, and they said not often at all.  People used to wear it regularly growing up, but now it really is worn on very rare occasions.  They continued to tell me that people now don’t even own any, they just rent it when they need it for pictures on occasions such as weddings.

Growing up I never wore an ao dai, and I kind of wonder why now do I feel the need to reconnect with this item.  I wore it for the first time two years ago at international day at church where I asked to borrow my dad’s ao dai.  It was very traditionally blue, and I think it was made of silk with a hat.  It was a bit janky and needed a bunch of pins to hold it in place.  I still have it at home next to the new one I bought from Vietnam, and I have a bit of sadness when I look at the blue ao dai as since my dad is no longer around I’m not really sure what to do with it.  My intention was to give it back to him last year, but that never came to fruition.

I wore the new áo dài during Lunar New Year at church last year. Having grown up in an all-Vietnamese church, I’ve adjusted surprisingly quickly to being one of only a few Vietnamese people in my church in Vancouver. This transition makes me wonder: am I simply flexible with my identity, or is it still core to my heart?”

Some Closing Thoughts

Overall Vietnam was not what I initially expected. English for the most part was readily accessible, and everyone super kind. Food scene wise, we mostly stuck to what was advertised on the Vietnam Lonely Planet Book (which was a good foundation of exploring), and friend’s recommendations. We found the high-end food scene in Hanoi spectacular

Food in Hanoi

  • Cồ Đàm Chay – Vegetarian Tasting Menu
  • Luk Lak Restaurant
  • Marou Chocolate

Hanoi Things to Do In Advance

  • Book the water puppet show in advance as early as possible. It is a free reservation so there is no harm

Customs

  • Be aware for North America there is a requirement of a visa in advance. You can do this through an e-portal, although the site looked like it was made during the geocities era. Using one of the passport apps on your phone of taking a photo worked for us. If you plan to do multiple visits, there is a better multiple-entry visa you can get in your local country, otherwise a single entry works.
  • https://evisa.xuatnhapcanh.gov.vn/trang-chu-ttdt


Transit
In terms of getting around, the Grab app is essential. It is pretty much the Uber of Vietnam, but we had a lot of problems of using our foreign North American cards so be sure to bring multiple to get the app to work.

Sim Cards

This is a pretty big problem in the touristy cities. Sim Cards at the airport can be about 4-5x more expensive so you have to go a little bit outside of the main tourist areas to get regular rates. Be comforted though that they rip everyone off equally, locals and foreigners.

Tours

The most memorable trip we did was with Yesd, and we booked the 4 days, 3 nights with a car through Ha Giang

https://yesd.org/ha-giang-comfort-car-ride/

Money

As in all SE Asian countries, you get a better exchange rate if you bring brand new crisp bills. Any bills which have rips or tears get deducted at money exchangers.

Fish Sauce

The Vincom markets have a totally different selection of fish sauce you get from North America. Here the fanciest one we have is Red Boat 40, but they have several brands similar to that there which are able half the price. However, bringing fish sauce home is quite the risky endeavor.

Hope
I was happy to hear that throughout the country was a sense of hope. What I mean is most people seem optimistic about the future economic opportunities and that living standards have gradually improved throughout the years.

in Personal Newsletter, Travel | 4,569 Words | 4 Comments

The Unexpected $30,000 Benefit of the Pandemic: Haircuts

During the early pandemic, a topic came up I never thought I would need to worry about. Who would cut my hair? My Asian hair is a bit funky where it is similar to Wolverine in X-men. After a couple weeks the sides get really pointy and uncomfortable so I would go to the barber probably every 3-4 weeks.

Since all the barber shops were closed for a couple months I managed to get really cheap scissors and a Wahl peanut corded clipper, both which were incredibly hard to come by at the time. On Youtube, I must have watched this video at least 10 times for some guidance

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKbzbQQEylY

The video describes how to cut your own hair and was probably one of the most methodical ones out there.

Coming from an engineering background, I like to plan and design as much as possible before doing an implementation. So based off the video I created a diagram on what to do.

In my whole life I never really had a need to cut my own hair as there was always a barber around somewhere. My barber at the time also was incredibly kind as we facetimed for her to give me some tips. There are obvious, but important things she taught me as when the clipper is going over your hair, if you don’t hear anything, nothing is being cut. It seems like common sense, but if you never have cut your own hair, these are important little tips.

When thinking about what I drew versus my plan, I totally deviated from my plan, (the whole numbering system, and up down didn’t work), and the result wasn’t bad, but definitely not great. In May 2020 as I walked around I noticed most men’s haircuts were rather uneven probably from everyone cutting their own hair or asking someone inexperienced to do it.

I was pretty overjoyed when I could go to my barber in June 2020. However after that I continued to cut my hair in between a professional cut so I would now only go a couple times a year.

Gradually, and after watching many many more Youtube videos I slowly got better and then started going to my barber less. After every haircut, I took some notes on what needed to be improved (mostly fading) and I also upgraded my equipment which made it easier to cut my hair

  1. I bought a ridiculous looking umbrella haircut cape. I know I look like a dog in a cone of shame, but it was helpful to catch most of the hair
  2. From Sallys, I bought Wahl Magic Cordless Clippers this was a huge upgrade from my Wahl Peanut as it was bigger and cordless. I read reviews on Amazon, and for some reason a lot of people would get refurbished packages so I didn’t buy it from them.
  3. From Aliexpress I bought Titan VG10 hair scissors and trimming scissors. I went down this rabbit hole of hair scissors, where I learned the existence of $1,000 scissors.

2020-2024 cost savings calculation

In 2020 I went to my barber 4 times, then in 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024 I went to my barber 8 more times.

Below is the cost savings for the past 4 years

  • 52 weeks / 3.5 = 14.8 visits (I would get haircuts about ever 3.5 weeks)
  • 14.8 visits * $50 haircut = $740 / savings year

$740 * 4 years = $2,960 – $600 (haircuts I paid for) – $300 (cost of the clippers and scissors) = $2,060 savings for the past 4 years

Projected savings the next 41 years

Let’s say I cut my own hair for the next 41 years it would come out to a savings of

  • $740 * 41 = $30,340

This experience taught me to evaluate in life what should I do for myself versus what should I pay for? Anything you choose to do for yourself does have some upfront investment, but can potentially have long term financial savings down the line.

in Personal Newsletter | 635 Words | Comment

Rest in Peace Dad

Around US Thanksgiving, my mom­ let me know that my dad had been diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer with a life expectancy of 1-2 years. In mid December my dad was hospitalized and one of the doctors suggested all family members should come urgently.  When I arrived, the days consisted of going back and forth to the hospital and I commandeered a corner of the cafeteria as my remote office.

I think we all have different ways of dealing with stress, and my routine was prayer, hitting the gym, and doing yoga at night like clockwork.  The first days were  overwhelming with uncertainty, but this routine helped me to stay focused on things on the support tasks that needed to be done for the day.

Towards the end of the hospital stay, the doctors stated that there wasn’t much they could do, revising his life expectancy of weeks to months and suggested the best course of action was to be on hospice care. 

My mom and I had a meeting with the hospice staff, who explained what hospice care entails.  Compared to regular medical care which is to save a life, hospice care aims to provide comfort care to prepare for a patient’s end of life within a couple months.  Since my dad had been diagnosed with a terminal condition of less than 6 months, he was eligible for the care via insurance.

As I’m sure no one is surprised, my dad hated being in the hospital.  The hardest thing to see was him exclaiming in English and Vietnamese that, “Ba muốn đi về (I want to go home)”  There were some serious medical complications preventing him from coming home, but fortunately, one of the doctors managed to do a treatment plan that enabled him to improve just enough to leave the hospital.  One of his last prayers and wishes was to be at home.  Thankfully, throughout the ordeal he didn’t have any pain in the hospital.

When he was discharged, we got him set-up at home successfully with a patient bed, and oxygen machine provided by hospice care.  However, it was then we realized the magnitude of care needed.  Now we would need to take care of my dad 24/7 as the cancer had robbed my dad of his independence. By a fortunate turn of events, God in his good graces lined up a caretaker who was a contact at my mom’s old home church to help watch him at night.  Without that caregiver, everyone would have been exhausted to the point of feeling like zombies.

All kinds of questions began to arise, requiring us to adapt quickly.  How would he communicate?  How would we monitor him?  One of the most low tech, but successful things we got was one of those bells that you ding when your order is ready at the diner.  Another was a baby monitor where we could see him when we weren’t in the room.

The first couple days were okay, where the new sounds of the house consisted of the whir of an oxygen machine to support his lungs, and an occasional ring from my dad requesting some type of service.  It was kind of cute in the beginning, like a customer asking for some food or water.  Things kind of seemed normal, where he would read the news on the iPad and even have short conversations with us.

Meanwhile my family were having discussions about finances and the financial implications of having a night caretaker if this lasted weeks or months, and what are the financial thresholds a family can bear.

I think as a society we don’t talk enough about end of life and what is a good way to die?  When a parent isn’t able to take care of themselves, what do we do?  How much do we pay? Who is going to take care of the person?  What kind of hardships would be spread amongst family?  Do you want to be there to witness last moments? It seems cruel to equate finances in context of one’s life, but it is an important topic to broach.

When hospice care is at home, there is an unfair burden placed on the caregiver as they are expected to help manage medication for comfort vs lucidity of a person.  Each day felt like an impossibility of choices.  Administering medication for comfort often results in sedation, while withholding it can lead to suffering.

I give my mom a lot of credit for having numerous conversations with my dad about advance directives and his end-of-life wishes, ensuring that the family had clear expectations about the path to be taken.

As the days progressed, one of the nurses noticed his breathing and said he was struggling.  We had a frank conversation about what does it looks like when a person is about to die.  She warned us that a common pattern is that people have moments like they are completely normal with a day of a burst of energy, then crash quickly.

In the first week of January he passed away, peacefully and comfortable in the evening.

Sometimes, we reflect on this situation and ask where God was in these moments, why he wasn’t healed, and why a life expectancy of 1-2 years shortened to just weeks.

My approach to prayer is to ask for a specific outcome, such as healing, but if it doesn’t occur, I trust in God’s grand plan regarding life and death.

Throughout this ordeal, there have been many small blessings. First off, his wish and desire to go home were fulfilled, and the last medical treatment plan enabled him to improve enough to leave the hospital.

The second blessing was having a caregiver to cover the nights, starting from the first night after his discharge, allowing my mom to get some sleep. We were panicking when he got home because I knew my mom was not in a condition to stay up all night.

I’ve heard that losing a parent is one of the hardest experiences a person can go through. I’m still processing the loss, but surprisingly, I don’t feel a sense of guilt. By this, I mean that while he was healthy, we, including my mom and partner, spent a lot of time traveling together and had a good relationship.  However, it doesn’t mean that there isn’t pain in my heart as I wish there were 10-15 more years to enjoy with him.

In 2014, my partner and I went to Mexico with my parents and this was the first international trip I took with them as adults.   We had tons of adventures where uh, I literally got the car stranded in the middle of nowhere driving to a snorkeling spot in Mexico and I was surprised at his grace because my dad was super chill about.  There was another trip to Mexico where uhh the car overheated when we went to a mountain town (buyer beware caution, if you ever travel with me, expect some shenanigans).  And most recently my parents always wanted to go to Europe so we went to Italy only this past June.  The trip was successful in my eye because a) they didn’t lost b) they didn’t get robbed.  My dad was usually quiet, but as we took some private tours through Rome, I was surprised at his inquisitive nature about the surroundings around us about Roman culture and life there.

Since 2014 I have been intentional about traveling with my parents as much as possible as I know there would be some point of time, they would not be physically able to travel due to mobility issues.  But nowhere in my wildest dreams did I expect this adventuring to be cut short by a fast-moving cancer.

The loss of a parent is strange, and grief comes in waves.  It’s not like the world stops, but there are certain intense memories when I reflect that cause tears to fall.  It is a balance of a completely normal day, then a realization you no longer can say “my parents.”

The days after a loved one passes through involves the immediate grief to be processed, the need to support family members, but also the huge logistical task of planning a funeral.  It is no different than planning a party oddly enough.

I do have to give credit to my mom, as she had an inkling of the seriousness of my dad’s condition, so she already bought a funeral package near her house.  This significantly alleviated our stress, as the costs were covered and the arrangements mostly preselected.

We went to the funeral home the day after my dad’s passing, encountering a surreal experience akin to buying a car.  There was the base package that was already taken care of, but if you want, you can pay more to upgrade to a fancier casket, or pay more for a fancier box for the ashes.   Fortunately, the staff had the sensitivity to inquire about upgraded packages, but not to push anything.

The funeral staff also had an odd warning for us that we might get calls from scammers posing as a funeral home to verify information.  A couple days later, on my dad’s cell phone there were actually a couple of voice mails from fake funeral homes asking to verify information.  A part of me wanted to call them back just to see where the scam would go, but I dropped the issue.  Googling around, this is actually quite a big issue

https://www.ftc.gov/business-guidance/blog/2023/06/scammers-impersonate-funeral-home-staff-prey-mourning-families-can-it-get-any-lower

It makes me wonder when someone dies, how exactly did these people get my dad’s cell phone number?  I wonder if there is a black market for death records someone on the dark web.  It is quite sad that people would prey on people at their most vulnerable.

The reality is when someone passes away, financial considerations come into play.   One option presented was to keep the ashes at the funeral home, which would cost an additional $4,000.  My mom thought about this for briefly, but since my dad expressed wishes for ashes to be returned to Vietnam, we realized that amount of money could essentially cover a trip there.

I was responsible for creating the memorial photo slideshow during the service and wanted to give a slideshow of dad throughout the decades.  Fortunately, both my mom’s and my Google Photos were active, allowing me to gather photos via image auto-tagging.  I then wrote a Python script to rename the files by date for chronological organization and added date-time stamps on the bottom right of each image. 

At home, my dad, and as I later learned his brother in Vietnam, were both significant packrats. A theory suggest that growing up in conditions of scarcity may lead to hoarding as a protective mechanisms.

Over several days, I sifted through my dad’s stuff, finding a collection of old cables, cell phones, old laptops, random trinkets until I discovered an old mini dv camcorder and about 30 tapes.  After locating the correct power adapter, I played the tapes back and found that the tapes spanned 2007-2010.  During that time, my dad had just set-up the camcorder and recorded special occasions with the camera and tripod just sitting there.


While creating the slideshow, I felt a pang of sadness at having many photos, but few videos of him.  However, this discovery filled that gap with raw footage of him interacting and talking with family – precisely the memories I longed for.

In today’s society there is a strong craving for the perfect ‘Instagram’ photo, a trend that I have fallen to also.  However, I’m come to realize the most important media is ones that captures the raw authenticity of one’s self without filters or edits.  The videos of dad just walking around and doing mundane stuff really has brought me the most joy.  Maybe it is because I am afraid as the days and years go by I might forget what he was like, his speech, and mannerisms.

The next puzzle was how do I digitize such an ancient format as the only input was firewire.  After a bit of googling, I bought a PCI-e firewire card on an old windows desktop at home, and managed to digitize all the videos after a lot of fiddling.  I captured it first in .avi, then converted it to h.265 which is a newer video codec.

There was an 1.5 hour video that my dad recorded which took place in Christmas 2009.  The video was just of us eating and opening gifts.  Maybe because of smart phones, the whole set up a tripod and record for hours during an event isn’t too popular, but maybe this is a tradition worth reviving.

Dealing with the grief has been tricky as we don’t have many playbooks in life to learn about this.  However, there are two things that have stood out to me which were helpful.

  1. When I saw a friend after the passing of my father he asked me, “do you want a normal day, or do you want to talk about it”.  I never really thought about it, but as the person dealing with grief, you do want to control the narratives of how your day goes.  Some days I want to talk about it, some days I don’t.
  2. A friend sent me a text message and said, “as much as you are there supporting family, don’t forget to take time to grieve for yourself.”

Another unexpected blessing, and something to consider with elderly parents is their online accounts and access to their e-mail.  I fortunately set myself as the 2 factor authentication back-up so I could log in to my dad’s e-mail to get access to important documents.  Also having all his phone pin codes so I could long in was helpful, as some apps were sending SMS messages to log-in.

The pamphlet “Gone From My Sight – A Dying Experience”, a book given to us when my dad entered hospice care in retrospect was eerily accurate in the months, days, and hours until the end of life.  https://www.amazon.com/Gone-My-Sight-Dying-Experience/dp/B00072HSCY

When I encounter people I don’t often see, I briefly mention the major news, talking about it for a minute or two, before shifting the topic.  I feel it’s important for them to be aware of this change in my life, but at the same time, I’m conscious of not letting it dominate our entire conversation.

When he was diagnosed with prostate cancer the first time around and beat it, he was talking to me about this verse and how he enjoyed it.

Ecclesiastes 3

A season for everything

3 There’s a season for everything
    and a time for every matter under the heavens:
2     a time for giving birth and a time for dying,
    a time for planting and a time for uprooting what was planted,
3     a time for killing and a time for healing,
    a time for tearing down and a time for building up,
4     a time for crying and a time for laughing,
    a time for mourning and a time for dancing,
5     a time for throwing stones and a time for gathering stones,
    a time for embracing and a time for avoiding embraces,
6     a time for searching and a time for losing,
    a time for keeping and a time for throwing away,
7     a time for tearing and a time for repairing,
    a time for keeping silent and a time for speaking,
8     a time for loving and a time for hating,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

It’s kind of an interesting choice because this is not really one of those traditional Bible verses used for comfort.  But this choice shows his character because at the end of his life he openly and bravely accepted his mortality.  He told us, don’t worry about me, I’m ready to go.

As tough as this was to hear, this was his last gift to us accepting God’s will and to be at peace, thereby bestowing it to us when he passed away.

Rest in peace dad.

in Personal Newsletter | 2,854 Words | 2 Comments

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